 TAFs "Expendables" Movie Review and Arnold Screen Time!
Arnold's Cameo: How Long and How Bad Ass?
Reported By: Randy Jennings
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
The Long wait is over as The Expendables is finally set to be released in just a few more days. The anticipation for this film has been great and come this Friday, August 13th, men everywhere will ditch their significant others and vow to stay clear of the latest Julia Roberts film. TheArnoldFans had the fortunate opportunity to get a press screening and a prime seat to watch top notch machismo.
I'll try to keep this review as spoiler-free as possible and as Arnold-heavy as needed. The cast: Terry Crews, Steve "Stone Cold" Austin, Dolph Lundgren, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Randy Couture, Mickey Rourke and Sylvester Stallone are the billed stars but naturally, the hype is built upon the Sly, Willis and Arnold segment. You know from the trailer that Arnold, playing the character Trench, has a dramatic door-opening entrance to the church. And you know from TAFs exclusive church visit reported HERE that we were the only media with permission to step inside this chapel. On Tuesday, August 3rd, I went BACK to the church to find the Arnold-opened doors.
This cameo scene with Bruce Willis, Sly and Arnold Schwarzenegger, occurring roughly 25 minutes into the film, has been rumored for many months to clock in at an estimated five long minutes but is this accurate? Sadly, no. The official Arnold screen time: 1:55 seconds (that's right, only TAFs gives you the exact time). There's roughly an additional minute longer with Willis and Sly without Arnold. I won't give away exact quotes as I don't want to spoil the insults that the three heroes trade among themselves, but I will say that the "Church" character, played by Willis, has the best lines.
Stallone uses very tight close-ups on his cast so we get extreme zooms of Arnold. He has naturally aged over the long and stressful years as Governor but he still looks great. If Arnold gets back into more action movies, I say Arnold needs to flaunt his new aged look in a gritty period piece film. Get some blood and dirt in these wrinkles! Now is the perfect time to bring back Crusade, King Conan or the John Milius Genghis Khan script!
The Expendables, reeking with action, unfortunately lacks heart... no wait, we don't want this type of movie to have heart...I should say it lacks charm and is void of character development. Other than Mickey Rouke's character, we really don't care about getting to know or identify with the other men. The bad guys are forgettable, the love interests are uninteresting and the screenplay lacks discipline. I'm not even sure it qualified as a story but on the positive side, the action is top-notch. Stallone has proven himself as a director. His action is gritty and hard-hitting and the cinematography is beautiful. If only the script was better.
Will you enjoy this movie? Anyone at this website, fans of Arnold, or fans of Sly and the other action heroes will love the final showdown. It's brutally ballsy and both Dolph and Terry Crews with those guns will make any audience cheer. I don't think the new generation of younger teenaged crowds will appreciate this film as much as we old school fans of the 80s action films will, nor do I see the females loving it. But YOU here will certainly like enough PARTS of the film to feel good about contributing to it's box office.
There is no bonus footage at the end of the credits. So how about The Expendables Part 2? For me, I'll PASS. I don't need to see it. It's a fine stand-alone film but since we're never drawn into the characters, we don't need to see what they'll do next. I just want to see what Stallone the director does next...and to see what Arnold does to outgun this muscle-power.
Stogie rating:
The Expendables: 3 out of 5 stogies!
Still, a MUST SEE for Arnold fans! Arnold and explosions = good times!
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