Batman & Robin Film Gets "De-assified!"  Yes, it is true, although Arnold did a great job acting in the film, director Joel Schumacher made 1997's Batman & Robin the worst Batman flick of them all. Naturally this hits us Arnold fans hardest because we all wanted this to have been the "coooooooolest". However nothing could save this bastardization of a bat-film once flamboyant Schumacher pranced his way into the directing chair. After nearly a decade of angry batfans complaining about this mess - with all of it's campy one-liners, codpiece close ups and childish sound effects, a hero stepped forward. Enter Greencapt, the man who reedited the film and attempted to bring it out of the Gothem gutter. What a surprise it was to see a mysterious DVD in my mailbox. Would I have to leap 10 feet in the air off of my porch while screaming "It's a Bomb!" or was it truly a gift from a generous Arnold or Batfan? Being the ballsy man I am, I decided to open it. What lurked inside was a true treasure... my own copy of Batman & Robin: De-assified!  I instantly popped in this fan edit which had over 1 hour of lame footage removed. With a final cut of just 63 minutes, we are left with a more serious film; a film that has been "de-Schumachered" as much as possible. Here are most of the changes/edits: - Freeze is now much more menacing and a bit darker. His stupid one-liners are cut to a minimum. - A lot of the idiotic dialogue is gone along with the "cartoony" sound effects. - While the ice-skating scene remains, it is not as blatant. And we don't see B&R click their heels together to pop skates out of there boots. Instead we assume their batboots are gliding on the ice. - Very little Bane and we don't hear him saying "BOMB, BOMB, BOMB!" - The whole "competition" between B&R is gone for the most part. Robin doesn't whine in this version and the petty bickering between the dynamic duo is gone. - Batgirl is still in the film but her character has been reduced significantly. - The motorbike racing scene was eliminated. - The opening credits are more "Bond-like," in that the movie opens with B&R battling Freeze and then the opening credits roll once Robin is thawed out. - Idiotic visual elements such as the Bat-skates, the Bat-credit card, butt and crotch shots, etc. have been removed. - The "Alfred is dying" subplot has been removed. - Bane's death scene is cut from the film in an attempt to make it look like he would be back for a sequel. Someone should hire this man Greencapt as an editor on a major feature film and show bad directors how a movie should be presented. The scene transitioning and sound editing is flawless. He cut the cheese form the film without making it stink! You should all see De-assification! Arnold comes off more as the badass he was meant to be. My only complaints would be these two minor ones: - I didn't agree with the decision to let Bane live. I believe him being cut adds to confusion of his sudden disappearance and his original death in the film was from what I recalled was decent scene. - In order to make Mr. Freeze more menacing, his scene where he conducts his henchmen to sing was deleted. I do agree this scene was necessary for deletion, however, that was one of the best (if not the only REAL funny) Mr. Freeze scene from the theatrical film. So the problem is this: I would have to bust out my old DVD in order to watch only this scene. A better solution would have been if Greencapt were to add all of the deleted scenes at the end of the DVD so fans could once and for all burn their old copies of this Schumacher bag of poo. Still, who am I to complain about something so insignificant when what we are given is a great FREE gift out of the kindness of a great fan. Long live Greencapt! Long live De-assification! Batman & Robin Theatrical Edition: 2 out of 5 stogies. Batman & Robin De-assified: 3.5 out of 5 stogies. B+R editor Greencapt : 4.75 out of 5 stogies! The future Greencapt edit with deleted scenes at the end: 5 out of 5 stogies! Batman & Robin De-assified has been uploaded recently to the newsgroup alt.binaries.dvd and a torrent is made available. Anybody can go to the 'official' thread at OriginalTrilogy.Com and find out how to get either. For more information on Batman & Robin "de-assified!, visit www.batman-on-film.com - The Net's #1 BATMAN movie website. This just in! A large man in a Mexican wrestling mask showed up at my door and handed me a letter. All he said was "LETTER!" The letter, written like a ransom note with typeface ripped from magazines, informed me that there WILL in fact be another version! In De-Assified version 2.0 there will be audio commentary AND some deleted scenes, as well as Easter eggs! Fantastic!!! ---------- |